Background: I won the lottery, but my family has ruined the good vibes

Great fortunes come with greater responsibility, as many lucky punters find out eventually. You really have to be careful what you wish for. In this article, Go Gambling navigates one lucky winner's journey through the complexities and responsibilities accompanying sudden wealth. Join us as we explore a thought-provoking Reddit post that gained over 4,000 reactions and nearly 1,000 comments. 

A woman sought advice after sharing her recent massive lottery win on Reddit in the famous Offmychest Subreddit. 

In her state, the USA, lottery winners are publicly declared, so keeping the event a secret is impossible. Moreover, she and her husband planned to purchase a house slightly above her current financial capacity, so she felt obligated to inform her family about her significant 'jackpot' win. 

Navigating newfound wealth due to winning "a life-changing amount of money," a young couple was embroiled in a delicate balance between financial prudence and familial expectations. Half of their life-changing winnings had been judiciously invested in properties, securing their present and past and placing a portion in "a high-yield savings account". Extending their newfound wealth generously, they allocated substantial sums to family and friends, ensuring financial comfort for close ones. 

Despite their best intentions, tensions arose within the family dynamics. The sister and mother, financially secure in their own right, expressed desires for additional support beyond the substantial amounts already provided (2 million each). Their ask for a family beach house created hesitation within the couple, resulting in undue stress and anxiety.

The strain on familial relationships weighed heavily, exacerbated by hurtful accusations of selfishness, the couple being labelled as 'stingy.' and the lucky winners feeling that somehow "everyone is entitled to our money.".

The phrase' more money, more problems' felt apt in this scenario. The unexpected shift in family dynamics, compounded by increasing strain and tension, made navigating this journey formidable. As they move forward, the couple seek a resolution that preserves their familial relationships while upholding their prudent financial decision, relaying their experience to the Reddit community and ultimately asking:

Why does winning money make people treat you this way versus when someone inherits it from the family?

How people responded to the question

This poses an interesting question, as inheritances are commonly perceived within the traditional framework of family assets passed down through generations. Recipients usually face fewer challenges or criticisms as it's a natural part of family wealth distribution.

In contrast, sudden wealth acquired through winning, like a lottery or windfall, is seen differently. The immediate access to substantial funds can evoke surprise, envy, and entitlement among families and the social circle due to the abrupt change in financial status.

This sudden money can lead to misconceptions of unlimited resources, generating expectations for sharing and fulfilling various financial requests. Publicly won windfalls, especially in a lottery, can lead to a perception of 'easy money' and an assumption that winners should generously share their newfound resources.

While the question was more rhetorical, it did inspire almost 1000 answers, comments, and in-depth feedback from the Reddit community. 

Some have commented on what makes family and friends treat you differently, with a user @truantone saying:

"Money changes everything. Friends of mine won a windfall and later said how stressful it was that everyone changed towards them and expected them to shell out for everyone."

Others have advised the woman that she has done more than enough for her family.

@dylandongle commented 

"So lemme get this straight.

You were the lottery winner. Therefore, you can choose where it goes. You decided to give EACH of them 2 million, which is already a lot. And now they demand more from you and call you the selfish one?

You've already given them more than enough out of the kindness of your wap, and you have the right to draw the line."

@justbreathing commented

2 million each is more than enough and probably too much. You will either have to shut it down and set some firm boundaries or move and change your number. If you don't, this will never stop."

@nighthawkfliessolo commented

"I always wondered how people in the position of receiving 2 million dollars do anything but sit back and be happy. The average person makes 2 million dollars over their whole lifetime, so it's enough to pay off your house, pay off any debts, and then live a normal middle-class life without having to work...Our materialistic society that celebrates excessive luxury ruins happiness for those who receive even a little wealth."

Ultimately, the consensus from the Reddit community was "to draw the line", say no and keep firm boundaries with the family, with one use @miliean putting it well:

"Boundaries are tricky but also funny. There's a saying that good fences make good neighbours, but it's talking about boundaries. When you have boundaries and enforce them, it allows everyone to exist in known places. The problem with winning and giving all this money away is that it shatters the preexisting boundaries. Now you have to build all new ones for your new world."

The same user also said something about the lucky winner's decision to keep money in a "high-yield savings account".

"Please, for the love of god, find a good wealth management person. You should be properly diversified and risk-managed by a qualified professional at the level of millions of dollars. It's not the money that should just go into a high-interest savings account."

One user summarised the lucky winner's dilemma as follows:

"Sadly though, winning the lottery will always have a downside with personal relationships. People always think you should be more generous somehow, no matter how generous you are." 

The ultimate advice was safeguarding the lucky winnings, even if it meant creating stronger boundaries via a financial adviser.

"Talk to your financial advisor now and tell them that your family should never receive any more money. Suppose your family wears you down later to the point you start caveating. In that case, your advisor still looks out for you and safeguards you from making a huge mistake."